Greg Oberst of Covington, Washington learned his wife, Linda, was diagnosed with breast cancer, when he received a frantic phone call from her. The diagnosis of non-invasive breast cancer in situ came after a routine mammogram. It was caught at an early stage, so Linda did not have to undergo radiation treatment or chemotherapy, and opted for a mastectomy. Greg sprung into action, providing emotional support as well as formulating a gameplan for all non-medical parts of her treatment and recovery, as Linda successfully achieved survivorship.
When Linda Oberst went in for a mammogram in 2013, her husband, Greg, didn’t give it much thought. After all, she had been quite faithful about coming in for her annual checkups. Once the appointment concluded, he got a phone call from Linda; but this call was unlike all the others. She was frantic and in tears. At first, Greg could not understand what she was saying, but minutes later, she calmed down and told him what was seen on the mammogram.
Greg tried to emotionally soothe Linda as best he could, but he also spearheaded their effort to go on a fact-finding mission. There were many health care professionals to see, and Greg was able to get their consent to record each and every visit. Although they took notes on each visit, the recordings enabled to catch bits of information they might have missed during their note taking.
At a very difficult time, a bit of good news was that Linda’s cancer was caught at a very early stage. As a result, she was able to avoid radiation treatment and chemotherapy.
In the meantime, Greg had his full time job, he had a teenage daughter to raise, bills to pay and an insurance company to deal with. He was grateful to get help from neighbors with cooking and logistics.
Linda concluded the best treatment option for her diagnosis of non-invasive breast cancer in situ was a mastectomy. Greg and Linda were told the prognosis was good, and the surgery was a success. The follow-up work didn’t show any residual cancer hanging around, so that was more good news. There were annual follow-up visits, and with each one came a bit of anxiety, but Linda eventually got to the all-important five-year mark.
She has returned to as close to a pre-diagnosis life as possible, and leads a happy, healthy life as a wife and mother.
TRANSCRIPTION
Bruce Morton: Hello and welcome. This is the Cancer Interviews podcast, and I’m your host, Bruce Morton. Our guest is Greg Oberst of Covington, Washington. He found himself in the role of caregiver after his wife, Linda, was diagnosed with breast. Greg, we look forward to your insights and we hope they can be informative and inspirational for somebody in a similar situation. Now, let’s get started, and Greg, welcome to Cancer Interviews.
Greg Oberst: Thank you, Bruce. Thanks for having me.
BRM: Can you recall when you had an inkling that something might be wrong with Linda’s health?
GLO: Linda has always been very good about visiting her primary care physician and gynecologists and other assorted health care professionals. I knew on one particular day in 2013, she went in for a mammogram. She had been in for many mammograms over the years, so I didn’t give it much thought. I was sure the visit would be routine, so I had to admit to some surprise when Linda was frantic and in tears and she called me at my office in downtown Seattle and she was really broken up. At first, I had a difficult time understanding her and what she was trying to tell me, but the more words that came out, I got the impression that the mammogram didn’t go well. She was just getting in her car when she called me and I told her to meet me in downtown Seattle, as her doctor’s office wasn’t that far away. When we were finally able to get together, we didn’t say much. Then she calmed down a bit and explained to me in a little bit more detail as to what happened and what was seen in the mammogram. That was the first blunt instrument.
BRM: Linda had obviously had some major changes in her future. What sort of changes did you anticipate for yourself?
GLO: That’s a great question because I had to think about what my role was going to be, going forward. One thing that I quickly discovered was the last thing Linda wanted to hear was that everything was going to be okay. As guys, as husbands, we tend to want to fix things for our family and our spouses. In her case, such positive words would be nothing more than a false sense of security. She only wanted the truth. She only wanted what was real and factual, and to deal with that. We only wanted to deal with what we knew and go on a fact-finding mission. My role was to help her in that regard and be her partner in fact-finding. There was a lot of ground to cover, and it is true with any medical procedure that another set of eyes is always best. It is unfortunate when anybody facing a major medical procedure has to go it alone. There is so much information to absorb and take in. It is nearly impossible for any single person, I don’t care how smart you are, to filter all that information and react to it in a way that makes sense. One thing I did, and it was with the doctor’s blessing, was to record every doctor’s session, but even with the two of us listening, we missed some things, so it was really handy to have that tape recording of every single conversation.
BRM: You had been through the birth of your daughter, but in terms of the caregiving for Linda, what were some of the highlights?
GLO: Cancer treatment is pretty daunting. There are so many layers to it. When it became obvious it wasn’t going to be one doctor for this process, it was going to be an army of doctors, oncologists, surgeons, reconstructive surgery technicians, just an endless line of doctors. So, we could see that coming and had to take a deep breath, also knowing it wasn’t going to be a quick fix. There were steps to the whole process. They all take time. We learned this wasn’t going to be over in days or weeks. Probably we are looking at a year in the outset, and then longterm if you are successful, you are monitoring those followup visits, mammograms and that sort of thing.
BRM: What was Linda’s treatment path like?
GLO: She was diagnosed with a very early stage of Non-Invasive Breast Cancer in Situ. Thankfully, she was able to avoid chemotherapy or radiation treatment.
BRM: So, here you are the caregiver, but there is also the matter of your fulltime job, keeping the house clean, paying bills and dealing with the insurance company so make sure she is getting the necessary coverage. Those are a lot of balls in the air. How were you able to stay on top of all this?
GLO: The support I had was very helpful. I was supporting Linda the best I could, but there were also people there to support me. She also got support from people other than me. Her employer was very helpful in terms of being flexible with her schedule. I needed the same kind of support at my office. Then we had neighbors who would show up at our doorstep with giant plates of food so we wouldn’t have to cook. Around the time of surgery and recovery, I spent very little time cooking. That was just a beautiful thing. At the same time, there is a certain amount of distance that is necessary, so we wanted to keep the number of well-wishers to a management amount. We weren’t in a position to host people.
BRM: Would you say with the passage of time, your caregiving effort went through a certain evolution, as you learned more?
GLO: Yeah, I got better at it. There were so many layers, so many doctors, so many therapists. At first, it felt a bit uneven and awkward, but then as you get into it, it almost feels like a job. You start to grasp the routine and can anticipate what’s next, just based on your experience. By the end of the process, I was a better caregiver than at the start, simply from experience.
BRM: What was the toughest part of the journey for you and Linda?
GLO: I would say it was the waiting after the biopsy to confirm whether she had cancer. That waiting period was close to two weeks. Linda and I took our teenage daughter, Olivia, on a vacation to the Oregon Coast, but it was very festive, as the dark cloud of the biopsy’s results was hanging over us. Then we finally got the results, and we had one maybe two visits with an oncologist to figure out a path forward from the initial mammogram. That’s when we gave Olivia the news. It was the last thing she was expecting, of course. She didn’t know what to say, but went over and hugged her mother.
BRM: Linda eventually achieved survivorship. What was it like to get that good news?
GLO: Because of her diagnosis, her pathway forward was a mastectomy. We knew that the likelihood of recovery was very high. The prognosis was very good all along, but initially, it wasn’t a guarantee, either, but we felt very confident through this whole process. The surgery was a success. The followup work didn’t show any residual cancer hanging around, so that was more good news. It was sort of a gradual process. As time went on, we started to gain more and more confidence that things were going to be okay; but there were the annual followup visits, and you’re not really confident until you hit that magical five-year mark, which she did eventually. For me, that was the biggest moment, getting to that milestone. It was only then that I felt we had licked this thing. She survived it and has been healthy since.
BRM: Greg, that was a great story and one that was nicely articulated. Thanks so much for being with us.
GLO: Thanks, Bruce. Thanks for having me.
BRM: And don’t forget. If you or a loved one are on a cancer journey, you are not alone. So, take care, and we’ll see you on down the road.
SHOW NOTES
TITLE: Greg Oberst, Breast Cancer Caregiver - Covington, Washington, USA
Greg found himself in the role of caregiver after a mammogram led to his wife being diagnosed with breast cancer. He explains what he did as Linda battled non-invasive Lobular Breast Carcinoma in Situ.
As Greg and Linda raised their teenage daughter and Greg continued to toil at his fulltime job, at all doctor visits and with the doctor’s permission, he made audio recordings of the visits and took meticulous notes.
Additional Resources:
Website: www.CancerInterviews.com - click here
Newsletter: My Team Journey Newsletter - click here
Facebook: Private Facebook Group - click here
Guidebook: Caregiver Quick Start Guide - click here
Guidebook: Patient Quick Start Guide - click here
Time Stamps:
01:05 Intro.
05:29 After wife Linda was diagnosed with breast cancer, what did you anticipate in terms of your role as a caregiver?
10:34 Greg says he and Linda were prepared for their cancer journey because of the medically difficult birth of their first child.
11:18 Greg describes the key points of his caregiving experience.
13:49 It was a challenge to juggle the logistics of caregiving, work and everything else.
20:59 Greg is asked if his caregiving skills evolved.
30:22 The good news that came with the cancer journey turning a corner.
34:30 Greg’s advice for anyone beginning a caregiving journey.
KEYWORDS (Tags):
cancer
cancer interviews
bruce morton
greg oberst
non-invasive lobular breast carcinoma in situ
breast cancer
lobular breast carcinoma
mammogram
Comments